Today I found out that 200 men invaded and attacked this small village in China. That small village was where some of my family lived. The government wanted to forcefully take their property to make a pig farm, but because the people did not let them, they got angry and hired a couple hundred men to hurt them, with the intention to kill. They threw large rocks at them, beat them, and one person was stabbed five times so that his intestines came out. I saw some pictures today, and one house had a river of blood on the floor. The village including my family cannot go home, and are homeless at the moment. What's more, the government do not want this story to get out. They have told all reporters to not release this story, and cut off the village's internet so that it won't go international. It's so hearbreaking to hear because this is my family, who took care of me while I was in China. They don't deserve this...they are good people even though they are poor. I can't stop crying.
Please, if you are the praying type, I ask that you would pray for my family and the village right now. Even though they are not Christian, ask that God will be on their side. And ask that God would protect them, heal them so that they will all recover quickly, comfort them, strengthen them and restore to them what was lost. Pray that justice will be done in this situation. Most importantly, that they will come to know God.
I may not know if you pray, but I deeply appreciate it if you do.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Taking a deep breath.
I am unofficially graduating Bible college in less than two weeks! While I will miss studying there as well as the amazing people, I am so ready and excited to embark on new adventures. However, I don't know what that adventure is just yet. I seriously considered studying theology at Victoria University in Wellington, but after getting down on my knees and praying about it, the 'yes' that I so wanted to hear from God settled into a clear 'no.' And somehow, I felt a great peace about that no. I asked my best friend to pray for me and see what God was saying to her about my future too, and she gave me an account of what had happened the next morning. She asked God, 'Do you want Jenny to study theology next year?'
'No.'
'Do you want Jenny to study at all?'
'No.'
What do you want Jenny to do?'
'Start soon...start now...Come&Live.'
Come&Live are a non-profit organization that works hand in hand with musicians that they sign and help them spread the kingdom of God through loving, giving, sharing and reviving. I have considered and researched the internships that they do but never imagined that this is what God would want me to do. The catch is, they only take 12 interns and they are based in Nashville, Tennessee...in America. Seeing my surprise, my best friend added, 'But you have to get an answer for yourself.'
That night, I got down on my knees again and asked God, 'Do you want me to do Come&Live?'
The answer came immediately. 'Yes.'
Just to make sure, I rebuked any satanic or demonic forces and my thoughts that were influencing this answer. And I asked God not once but three times if this was really His will for me. You could say that I couldn't believe it and my questioning Him was really a tactic to allow this answer to sink in for me. Finally, after manifesting and speaking in tongues, I heard Him say, 'Go in peace. I will pave the way for you.' Immediately, I thought of the words spoken to Joshua by God in Joshua 1:9:
It feels like I'm taking a deep breath before the dive, and it's a good kind of scared.
'No.'
'Do you want Jenny to study at all?'
'No.'
What do you want Jenny to do?'
'Start soon...start now...Come&Live.'
Come&Live are a non-profit organization that works hand in hand with musicians that they sign and help them spread the kingdom of God through loving, giving, sharing and reviving. I have considered and researched the internships that they do but never imagined that this is what God would want me to do. The catch is, they only take 12 interns and they are based in Nashville, Tennessee...in America. Seeing my surprise, my best friend added, 'But you have to get an answer for yourself.'
That night, I got down on my knees again and asked God, 'Do you want me to do Come&Live?'
The answer came immediately. 'Yes.'
Just to make sure, I rebuked any satanic or demonic forces and my thoughts that were influencing this answer. And I asked God not once but three times if this was really His will for me. You could say that I couldn't believe it and my questioning Him was really a tactic to allow this answer to sink in for me. Finally, after manifesting and speaking in tongues, I heard Him say, 'Go in peace. I will pave the way for you.' Immediately, I thought of the words spoken to Joshua by God in Joshua 1:9:
'Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.'
I then asked God when I should start, and I really felt that it was in six months because He had said, 'Start soon.' I saw encouraging visions soon afterward that made me feel so at peace with this answer and revelation.
As huge a news as this is, I still don't want to take any chances and put a toe out of God's will for my life. My mum, who I asked to pray for me, said she had prayed for me to make the right decision and we had a good talk today about this situation. She said a really encouraging thing to me. She said that when she prays about my little sister, she gets the feeling that she will be a pastor's wife, serving and helping people. But when she prays for me, she gets a different vision. She feels that I am going to be active in bringing people into God's kingdom, like a tool He uses anywhere He wants to use it. I asked her, then, why she felt surprised and worried when I told her that I might be going to the US and she answered me with solemness, 'Because you are so young.'
I really feel that God has equipped me with gifts and a unique way of thinking that will prepare me for anything that God has appointed me to. I have thought about this a lot, and although I am scared if this is all to be fulfilled, it's the good kind of scared. The kind of scared that you feel when you are about to parachute off a plane. The kind of scared that you feel when you fall too fast down a waterslide. The kind of scared that you feel when you are about to embark on a new adventure, as I am doing now. Two things need to happen before I am to internship at Come&Live, however: First, that a trusted mentor of mine prays and gets confirmation from God that this is His will and second, that I, of course, get accepted as a intern at Come&Live.
Currently listening to: Jon Foreman - Your Love Is Strong
Sunday, June 10, 2012
White as snow.
This weekend, I went to the Cleansing Streams Retreat, which is like a conference where people pray over you for different topics such as anger, shame, rejection and all other forms of darkness. One topic that we covered was sexual immorality, which was the most outstanding for me.
The lecturer talked about the concept of 'soul-ties' which scared me. I have heard of that term before, but some things were new to me. Basically, he explained that when you have sex with someone, you create a soul-tie with them, meaning that you most probably inherited some of their spiritual problems in having sex, whether it would be freemasonary, witchcraft, depression or the likes. Not only do you create this destructive bond physically, but it could also happen if you have emotional soul-ties with someone too. The lecturer illustrated this point by showing us a group of people holding each others hands, which represented the chain of soul-ties that happens when we have physical or emotional relationships with people outside of marriage. You can imagine how long that chain would be, and how destructive it would be too!
What shocked me even more was the statistics of sexual partners we have in the world and New Zealand. According to the lecturer, people in the rest of the world normally have 7 sexual partners on average...but in New Zealand, the average in 16! Now, that is scary thought - how many spiritual problems, or even physical problems, have we inherited because we carelessly slept with a few people? The pleasure is temporary, but the pain outweighs it by a milestone.
On our worksheet, there was a list of about 30 sexual sins and we were told to circle which sins we had been involved in. With shame, I scanned through the list and realized that I had been involved in most of them in some form or another. We were also told to write down the names of the people we had emotional or spiritual soul-ties with, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. In equally burning shame, I wrote down the names of the people I had sex with or hooked up with, and went up for prayer.
The lady that was praying for me was wonderful, but after the first prayer I still didn't feel right. During the second prayer, a blonde lady came and prayed for me too. The blonde lady walked away after the prayer was finished, but she came back and told me that she felt God was saying that He wanted to restore me completely. She asked me if I was married and I replied no, and she said that when I do enter into marriage, I will be a virgin. I was weeping beforehand, but when she said this a flood of tears burst forth. I was completely overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of God. There are no words that I can find that can explain how free and loved I felt at that very moment. I felt like I was honored, even though I did not deserve it in any way. Amazing grace, indeed! To think that the holy God I serve has seen all my sexual sin, too numerous for me to remember, and washed me clean by the blood of the lamb, to be remembered no more, is incredible. But He didn't stop there. He has also declared me a virgin in His sight, and told me,
The lecturer talked about the concept of 'soul-ties' which scared me. I have heard of that term before, but some things were new to me. Basically, he explained that when you have sex with someone, you create a soul-tie with them, meaning that you most probably inherited some of their spiritual problems in having sex, whether it would be freemasonary, witchcraft, depression or the likes. Not only do you create this destructive bond physically, but it could also happen if you have emotional soul-ties with someone too. The lecturer illustrated this point by showing us a group of people holding each others hands, which represented the chain of soul-ties that happens when we have physical or emotional relationships with people outside of marriage. You can imagine how long that chain would be, and how destructive it would be too!
What shocked me even more was the statistics of sexual partners we have in the world and New Zealand. According to the lecturer, people in the rest of the world normally have 7 sexual partners on average...but in New Zealand, the average in 16! Now, that is scary thought - how many spiritual problems, or even physical problems, have we inherited because we carelessly slept with a few people? The pleasure is temporary, but the pain outweighs it by a milestone.
On our worksheet, there was a list of about 30 sexual sins and we were told to circle which sins we had been involved in. With shame, I scanned through the list and realized that I had been involved in most of them in some form or another. We were also told to write down the names of the people we had emotional or spiritual soul-ties with, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. In equally burning shame, I wrote down the names of the people I had sex with or hooked up with, and went up for prayer.
The lady that was praying for me was wonderful, but after the first prayer I still didn't feel right. During the second prayer, a blonde lady came and prayed for me too. The blonde lady walked away after the prayer was finished, but she came back and told me that she felt God was saying that He wanted to restore me completely. She asked me if I was married and I replied no, and she said that when I do enter into marriage, I will be a virgin. I was weeping beforehand, but when she said this a flood of tears burst forth. I was completely overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of God. There are no words that I can find that can explain how free and loved I felt at that very moment. I felt like I was honored, even though I did not deserve it in any way. Amazing grace, indeed! To think that the holy God I serve has seen all my sexual sin, too numerous for me to remember, and washed me clean by the blood of the lamb, to be remembered no more, is incredible. But He didn't stop there. He has also declared me a virgin in His sight, and told me,
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool."
Isaiah 1:18b
For me, the very fact that God has done this because of Jesus' death on the cross and because of His burning love for me, made me inwardly convinced that sex in my life is truly and strictly going to be kept for marriage. I do not want to have sex, or hook up, or be involved in any other sexual sin any longer. The sexual sins I have committed in the past has all been covered under God's grace, and I have no desire to try to extend and cheapen that grace. The very thought of doing something like that makes me sick. God's forgiveness has so astounded and impacted me, that I know I have been changed forever!
I want to encourage those who are reading this: no matter how many people you have slept with or hooked up with, whether you watch porn or have been involved in sexual gratification, whatever sexual sin you have done, Jesus has nailed each and every one of them to the cross and will forgive you from all sin if you choose to repent and lay it all at the cross. His grace and love is so deep that it will cover all sin and shame - and if you let Him, He will restore to you that which was lost too. Yes, we serve a holy God who detests sin, but we also serve a God whose grace is so deep that if we sank into it we would never reach the bottom. You can be pure, sanctified, and forgiven in Jesus Christ like I was this weekend!
God is good, hey?!
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