A beautiful mess.: April 2010

The Lord has hidden himself from his people, but I trust Him and out my hope in Him.
Isaiah 8:17

God is real, no matter how you feel.
It is easy to worship God when things are going great in your life- when He has provided food, friends, family, health and happy situations. But circumstances aren't always pleasant. How do you worship God then? What do you do when God seems a million miles away?
The deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting Him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving him when He seems distant.
Friendships are often tested by seperation and silence; you are divided by physical distance or you are unable to talk. In your friendship with God, you won't always feel close to Him. Philip Yancey has wisely noted, 'Any relationship involves times of closeness and times of distance, and in a relationship with God, no matter how intimate, the pendulum will swing from one side to the other.' That's when worship gets difficult.
To mature your friendship, God will test it with periods of seeming seperation- times when it feels as if He has abandoned you or forgotten you. God feels a million miles away. St. John of the Cross referred to those days of spiritual dryness, doubt and estrangement from God as 'the dark night of the soul.' Henri Nouwen called them 'the ministry of absence.' Others refer to 'the winter of the heart.'
Besides Jesus, David probably had the closest friendship with God than anyone. God took pleasure in calling him 'a man after my own heart.' Yet David frequently complained of God's apparent absence. 'Lord, why are you standing aloof and far away? Why do you hide when I need you most? Why have you forsaken me? Why do you remain so distant? Why do you ignore my cries for help? Why have you abandoned me?'
Of course, God hadn't really left David, and He doesn't leave you. He has promised repeatedly, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' But God has not promised, 'you will always feel my presence.' In fact, God admits that he sometimes hides his face from us. There are times when he appears to be missing in action in your life.
Floyd McClung describes it, 'You wake up one morning and all your spiritual feelings are gone.. You pray, but nothing happens. You rebuke the devil, but it doesn't change anything. You go through spiritual excercises...you have your friends pray for you...you confess every sin you can imagine, the go around asking forgivness from everyone you know. You fast...still nothing. You begin to wonder how long this spiritual gloom will last. Days? Weeks? Months? Will it ever end?...it feels as if your prayers simply bounce off the ceiling. In utter desperation you cry out, 'What's the matter with me?'"
The truth is, there's nothing wrong with you! This is a normal part of the testing and maturing of your friendship with God. Every christian goes through it at least once, and usually several times. It is painful and disconcerting, but it is absolutely vital for the development of your faith.
Knowing this gave Job hope when he could not feel God's presence in his life. He said, 'I go east, but he is not there. I go west, but I cannot find him. I do not see him in the north, for he is hidden. I turn to the south, but I cannot find him. But he knows where I am going. And when he has tested me like gold in a fire, he will pronounce me innocent.'
When God seems distant, you may feel He is angry with you or is disciplining you for some sin. In fact, sin does disconnect us from intimate fellowship with God. We grieve God's spirit and quench our fellowship with him by disobedience, conflict with others, busyness, friendship with the world, and other sins.
But often this feeling of abandonment or enstrangement from God has nothing to do with sin. It's a test of faith- one we all must face: Will you continue to love, trust, obey and worship God, even when you have no sense of his presence or visible evidence of his work in your life?
The most common mistake Christians make in worship today is seeking an experience rather than seeking God. They look for a feeling, and if it happens, they conclude that they have worshipped. Wrong! In fact, God often removes our feelings so we won't depend on them. Seeking a feeling, even the feeling of closeness to Christ, is not worship.
When you are a baby christian, God gives you alot of confirming emotions and often answers the most immature, self-centered prayers- so you'll know he exists. But as you grow in faith, he will wean you of these dependencies.
God's omnipresence and the maifestation of his presence are two different things. One is a fact; the other is often a feeling. God is always present, even when you are unaware of him, and his presence is too profound to be measured by mere emotion.
Yes, he wants you to sense his presence, but he's more concerned that you trust him that than you feel him. Faith, not feelings, pleases God.
Those situations that will stretch your faith most will be those times when life falls apart and God is nowhere to be found. This happened to Job. On a single day, he lost everything- his family, his business, his health, and everything he owned. Most discouraging- for thirty-seven chapters, God said nothing!
How do you praise God when you don't understand what's happening in your life and God is silent? How do you stay connected in a crisis without communication? How do you keep your eyes on Jesus when your eyes are full of tears? You do what Job did: 'Then he fell to the ground in worship and said, "Naked I cam from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised!"'

Tell God exactly how you feel. Pour your heart out to God. Unload every emotion that you're feeling. Job did this when he said, 'I cannot keep quiet! I am angry and bitter! I have to speak!' He cried out when God seemed distant. God can handle your doubt, fear, anger, grief, confusion and questions.
Did you know that admitting your hopelessness to God can be a statement of faith? Trusting God but feeling despair at the same time, David wrote, 'I believed, so I said, "I am completely ruined!" This sounds like a contradiction: I trust God, but I'm wiped out! David's frankness actually revealed deep faith: First, he believed in God. Second, he believed God would listen to his prayer. Third, he believed God would let him say how he felt and still love him.

Focus on who God is- his unchanging nature. Regardless of circumstances and how you feel, hang on to God's unchanging nature. Remind yourself what you know to be eternally true about God: he is good, he loves me, he is with me, he knows what I am going through, he cares, he has a plan for my life. V. Raymond Edmund said, 'Never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light.'
When Job's life fell apart and God was silent, Job still found things he could praise God for:
-That he is good and loving
-That he is all powerful
-That he notices every detail of my life
-That he is in control
-The he has a plan for my life
-That he will save me

Trust God to keep his promises. During times of spiritual dryness you must patiently rely on the promises of God, not your emotions, and realise that he is taking you to a deeper level of maturity. A friendship based on emotion is shallow indeed.
So don't be troubled by trouble. Circumstances cannot change the character of God. God's grace is still in full force; he is still for you, even when you don't feel like it. In the absence of confirming circumstances, Job held on to God's word. He said, 'I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.'
The trust in God's word enabled Job to remain faithful even when nothing else made sense. His faith was strong in the midst of pain: 'God may kill me, but I will trust in Him.' When you feel abandoned by God yet continue to trust him in spite of your feelings, you worship him in the deepest way.

Remember what God has already done for you. If God never did anything else for you, he would still deserve your continual praise for the rest of your life because of what Jesus did for you on the cross. God's son died for you! This is the greatest reason for worship.
Unfortunately, we forget the cruel details of the agonizing sacrifices God made on our behalf. Familiarity breeds complacency. Even before the cruxifiction, the Son of God was stripped naked, was beaten until almost unrecognisable, whipped, scorned and mocked, covered with thorns and spit on contemptuously.
Abused and ridiculed by heartless men, he was treated worse than an animal.
Then, nearly unconcious from blood loss, he forced to drag a cumbersome cross up a hill, was nailed to it, and was left to die the slow, excruciating torture of death by cruxifiction. While his lifeblood drained out, hecklers stood by and shouted insults, making fun of his pain and challanging his claims to be God.
Next, as Jesus took all of mankind's sin and guilt on himself, God looked away from the ugly sight, and Jesus cried out in total desperation, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' Jesus could have saved himself- but then he could not have saved you.
Words cannot describe the darkness of that moment. Why did God allow such ghastly, evil mistreatment? So you could be spared from eternity in hell, and so you could share in his glory forever. The Bible says, 'Christ was without sin, but for out sake God make him share our sin in order that in union with him we might share the righteousness of God.'
Jesus gave up everything so you could have everything. He died so you could live forever. That alone is worthy of your continual thanks and praise. Never again should you wonder what you have to be thankful for.

The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren

A Christian author writes, 'There was a teenager with lots of friends who excelled in school...But looks can be deceiving. I know. I'm that girl. At seven, a neighbor molested me...at eight I watched my grandfather collapse with a stroke...at 10, my dad left and never returned...my parents divorced...my world got worse by the year. I asked Christ into my life but I still felt guilty, dirty, disappointed, scared, unworthy and empty. I said, 'God, if you won't fix my life, I'll do it myself.'
I satisfied people through achievements, but inside I was empty and aching. I gave in to temptation...by crawling into bed with another searching-for-love soul; two people trying to feel complete and looking in the wrong places...Growing inside were seeds of guilt, shame and disgust. After years of trying to fill the emptiness...I realised Jesus had been in my heart since the day I asked Him, and He alone could fill it completely.
I'm older now...far from perfect, but I've learned that nothing in this world can satisfy the desires of the heart. If it could be found in looks, clothes, relationships...my heart wouldn't have hurt. None of these do what Jesus does. Don't be fooled by the world's promises; believe the promises of God. You're His child. He loves you and wants a relationship with you no matter what you've done.'

A hymn writer wrote, None but Christ can satisfy; none other Name for me! There's love, and life, and lasting joy, Lord Jesus, found in Thee!