*splutter sneeze cough*

Whoa, I am dying from coughing and blowing my nose so much :(. Being sick sucks, especially when I have copious amounts of assignments and other responsibilities to do this week.

Anyway, a lil update on my life. Last weekend I went to one of my good friend's 19th birthday party at a hotel. That was crazy because almost everyone was on something. I felt a little uncomfortable so I stayed behind while nearly everyone went out to the clubs. I'm glad I did. I stayed behind with some crack up dudes and learnt how to shuffle! Ye ye. On Sunday, I dropped off a friend to the airport as she came up for the weekend from Wellington. I dislike goodbyes, heaps.
Also, I realised overtime that the boy I had been crushing on, I don't like anymore. Seems harsh but he is a little too conservative for me. More importantly, he isn't a Christian. I want a guy I date to be stronger than me - physically, mentally and spiritually. Unfortunately, I'm unsure of that with him. I use to think that dating a non-christian would be alrite, but now I can't understand how someone would know my joy and hope and purpose in life without knowing God first, amoung many other reasons. I think we are hanging out next week, so hopefully it all goes well then.

Yup :) I hope everyone is having a rad week and you guys are not sick!

Currently listening to: Title Fight - Goldwaite

Urgent prayer request!

Hey everyone.

Today I found out that my uncle has been injured from falling down the stairs. Part of his face is paralyzed and some other parts of his body are fractured. Aswell as not being able to work, he is divorced and doesn't see his little girl often. He is also due to go to court this Friday for drunk driving on a number of occasions and it looks likely that he will be sent straight to prison for 3 months. My mum has told him about God and is encouraging him to repent and accept him but he stays silent. Please pray for him if you are inclined. He desperately needs Jesus in his life.
Pray that he will be fully healed so that he will know God. Pray that the judge will have mercy on him. Pray that he will repent and accept God into his life so that he has something to hope for and hold on to. It would be very much appreciated! I will let you guys know how it goes.

24 August, 1:34am.

Lord, I come before you. I am sorry for sinning and being destructive in my thoughts, actions and words. I ask that you will cover my heart, my mind and my mouth with Your spirit of purity so that what I think, do and say will bring glory to You and bring life to those who hear it. I give you control over my conversations and relationships. May they be fruitful Father. May the people who see this fruitfulness praise You and know that You are God.

Breathe into my bones once again.

Amen.

Like the sea.

The last thing I wanted to do today was go to course. I had no sleep and wanted to stay in bed and mindlessly surf the net but reluctantly I did. It was really one of the most significant things that has happened to me in a long time, praise God!

I was in my small group and I was talking about my MTC testimony I had to do in front of a church next Sunday. I suddenly felt deeply emotional while talking and I noticed that people had empathy for me. Afterwards, a woman named Grace told me that while she was praying for me she felt God saying 'be patient, I'll do it for you.' There are two things in my life right now I was not giving full trust to God, and it was a blessing that I had confirmation!
Another lady, Tara, came up to me and said 'there's this overwhelming love for you from God' and she told me she loved me too, even though I have only met her this month. Whatever I needed to talk about, I would only turn around and she'd be there.
On the drive back I was so joyful and astounded for His love for me. It was what I needed. I can't explain how content I am in this very moment, and I pray and hope I will be reminded of it everyday. The sun shone down on my face and warmed my heart.

I would like to remind you. Whatever your name is, whatever your weight, height, age, sex, occupation or no matter how screwed up you think you and your past are, no matter how many times you have been told you're useless and felt alone in the world, God loves you deeply and overwhelmingly. He knows you inside and out, and even before you were born He had a wonderful plan for your life, more wonderful than your wildest plans. He has your name written on His hand will take care of you when you're old and grey. I believe this with all of my heart and I encourage you, particularly those who don't know God, that there is hope and that there is someone who will never fail you or leave you. You can be truly free if only you choose to believe and accept Him into your life. No one is going to judge you. If you would like a relationship with God, don't be afraid to talk to me. I'm the most boring person ever! I'm keen to chat about my faith and to talk about your life too.

I will leave you with a quote. Breathe it in:

'Know that nothing can seperate His love for you. The past, the present, the future sins - he knows it all and yet His love and grace is so deep that if we sank in it we would never reach the bottom."

Silence is violence.

I want to get it out of my system that I am a rotton human being. I am incredibly selfish. I am two-faced, irritable, dishonest, jealous and impatient. Everyday I am tested in circumstances to see if I will counter-attack these nasty qualities, and most of the time I fail. But I will continue to fight with the strength of God to resist my flesh. Pray for me that I can.

One of the bad things about always following your heart and not your head is that you are easily swayed by how you feel. Lately I have been feeling unmotivated and havn't been going course simply because I don't feel like it. At MTC, the staff actually care if you are absent or late from class which is not really a good thing for me in this case. I don't know why all of a sudden I don't want to go class. I think one of the reasons is because everyday you have to use a lot of heart and put a lot of thought into what you are being told and for me it's draining, mentally, spiritually and sometimes physically. I think it's just something I will have to get use to though. I hope I will find the motivation soon.

All pessimism aside, I got a student loan for MTC (and I'm dreading having to pay this back!) but I am so very thankful to God for coming through for me and providing in my time of need.
It's been 3 and a 1/2 weeks since I decided to not eat meat. I have tripped up a couple of times, but other than that it hasn't been difficult. If I didn't love seafood, I would have given it up already and become an ovo-lacto vegetarian, but it is too hard for me. I think seafood is incredible and there was never a passion in my heart against the killing of sea creatures for consumption (obviously I do not condone or eat such creatures like whale or dolphin who are killed cruelly for their meat and blubber). Who knows, maybe my mind will change in time!
I miss by best girlfriends Ling and Anja, who will be in other parts of the country for a long time.
I also met a boy this week, and he's incredibly lovely. I don't know if lovely can be said about a boy, but he is. I like that he's shy and keeps his head down and how he's one of those rare boys that actually asks about you. It's a really needed and nice change from all those egotistic, sex driven, insecure and angry little boys out there. A part of me wants to hit my head on the table and tell myself to not be so naive and stupid like I was with my previous fling, but another part of me is getting butterflies and smiling thinking about him. I havn't had those butterflies in a long, long time. Nostalgia.

Also, the band Verse is amazing.

"I will no longer sway with the willows.

I will stand strong on my own.
When everyone lets me down,
I will stand strong alone.”

Hundredth - Willows

Another one.

If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
For real? I would pray about it cause I know a selfish and scared part of me would want to get an abortion straightaway.

Do you trust all of your friends?
Sadly, no.

Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Yes, if I really, truly loved that person and he's the one. And, if God says yes.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Yes I do! I'm a big believer of that.

Can you make a dollar in change right now?
I don't get itttt.

Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
Umm, Sam Zaia for some reason hahaha.

Are you afraid of falling in love?
I guess you could say that. I'm a little afraid of letting the walls around my heart down.

Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
Yeah all the time haha. It's random people most of the time too.

Whats your most favorite scar?
I don't have a favourite scar haha.

When was the last time you flew in a plane?
Feburary 13 this year, flying back from China to New Zealand =[

What did the last text message you sent say?
'Are you with Jack?'

What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?
Eyes and smile ;]

What features do you find least attractive in the preferred sex?
Feet I guess, haha.

Fill in the blank. I love:
Music, loyal friends, nature, God, tea.

What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Find a job! And save up for my tattoo and a plane ticket to another country =]

If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
My mum and my little sister Sarah.

How many kids do you want to have?
I'm so afraid of having kids but I guess that normally comes with people my age. If I ever were to have kids I would want two and that's it. One boy and one girl =]

Would you make a good parent?
Eek I wouldn't think so! I think I'm too selfish but also over protective. I know this because I look after my sister the most and it teaches me alot about myself.

Where was your default picture taken?
In Hala's room in Hamilton.

Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
Car and transport problems for tomorrow. It always fustrates me! =/

If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I wouldn't choose to because I've learnt alot from my mistakes, but for the questions sake probably not having a friends with benefits relatinship with someone.

Who was or will be the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding?
Maid of honour would be my best friend Anja of course! <3

What are you wearing right now?
A grey singlit and grey acid washed jeans.

Favorite animal?
Wolves! Or whales. Both are badass!

Have you had the chicken pox?
Yee, when I was little. Sucked so bad haha.

Have you had a sore throat?
Yep! That's not fun either haha.

Ever had a bar fight?
Aw heck no, that's too dramatic for me.

Who knows you the best?
Anja or Sarah. =]

Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Haha I've had a disagreement if that counts? I took my dog on a walk at the park one afternoon and when I sat down it kept pulling on the leash and would not let go, probably because it wanted to roam free and not sit down with me. So I just let him go and he was obedient and nice after that haha!

Been to Mexico?
Nope, it would be rad though!

Did you buy something today?
No siree, stayed home awl day.

Did you get sick today?
Nope, I'm a toughie.

Do you miss someone today?
Yes, Jayesh! I was talking to him on chat tonite and I realised we havn't hung out in ages. But I'm seeing him tomorrow hopefully =D

Do you have a fight with someone today?
No, which is always good haha.

When is the last time you had a massage?
Around a month ago at my mum's friend's beauty clinic.

Last person to lay in your bed?
That would be Sarah.

Last person to see you cry?
Hmm...that would be Kate at church.

Who made you cry?
I think it may have been a boy =[

What was the last TV show you watched?
Friends of course!

What are your plans for the weekend?
Tomorrow I am hopefully going to a friend's 20th. Saturday I will hopefully be going to a hardcore gig at Zeal. And Sunday I am making a vegetarian dinner with Taylor. In between I will be doing assingments. Whatever happens, I hope it's a good weekend anyhow =]

Who was the last person you hung out with?
Aw it was a big group of people last night. Ashley, Josiah, Jack, Suren etc...all those people are so wonderful!

If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say?
I don't have a significant other...which is good! Boys are a little distracting I must say.

Bored. Here comes the surveys!

What is your favorite color?
Black.

What is your favorite stone or gem?
I don't have a favourite, but I think they're all very pretty.

What is your favorite brand name?
I don't have one.

What is your favorite shampoo & conditioner?
Anything by Sunsilk.

What is your favorite body wash?
Anything that smells good and is good for my skin. Probably Aveeno bodywash =]

What is your favorite lotion?
Same as above!

What is your favorite sent or perfume?
The best perfume I had was Britney Spears - Fantasy. It smells like candyfloss. Mmm!

What is your favorite electronic?
My laptop or an ipod.

What is your favorite song?
It changes all the time! But right now it would be The Breaker's Commission by For Today. Amazing blessing of a song.

What is your favorite movie?
Lords of Dogtown...duh ;]

What is your favorite T.V show?
Friends for life!

What are your favorite pair of shoes?
It would have to be my tan wedges at the moment. You can dress them up or down, they're the right height and they're comfortable to walk in.

Who is your favorite cartoon character?
Homer Simpson! He is halarious.

Who is your favorite entertainer?
Will Ferrell can get me in a good mood anytime.

What is your favorite sport?
My favourite sport to play would be hockey and my favourite sport to watch would be rugby.

What is your favorite kind of car?
Anything old school.

What is your favorite drink?
Oh that's hard to choose. It would be between soy milk and creaming soda at the moment.

What is your favorite snack?
Cheese and crackers =D

What is your favorite fruit?
Avocado <3

What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
This long bronze necklace with a long tooth at the end of it. It's not mine but I wear it all the time.

What is your favorite accessory?
My phone.

What is your favorite place to visit?
I'm going to cheat and say either beach, bushwalk or lake or river, or this lookout in Manukau where there is a beautiful view of Auckland and all its lights. If you took me to any of them it would make me happy!

What is your favorite State?
New York.

What is your favorite city?
My favourite city I've been to would be Macau in China. Fabulous in every way.

What is your favorite theme park?
Easy! Ocean Park in Hong Kong. Rides, animals, a huge underground fish tank, a dolphin show. It's amazing.

What is your favorite hotel?
I don't have one...oh well, there is this lodge in Ngongotaha which is really quaint and comfy if that counts.

What is your favorite clothes store?
A good op shop!

What is your favorite shoe store?
Novo have some pretty shoes but I also like Vans.

What is your favorite restaurant?
La Porchetta - very good Italian for cheap!

What is your favorite fast food spot?
Probably Wendys.

What is your favorite book/magazine?
Book would be Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, magazine would be Cosmopolitan ;]

What is your favorite type of gum?
P.K all day.

What is your favorite brand of toothpaste?
I don't have one. But Colgate is usually what I use.

What is your favorite kind of toothbrush?
Haha I don't know.

What is your favorite brand of mouthwash?
Same answer as above.

What is your favorite season?
That's easy! Winter =D hot drinks, layers of warm clothes, rain...yes please!

What is your favorite day of the week?
Friday, gotta get down on Friday.

What is your favorite thing to do when celebrating your birthday?
Go to a nice dinner with my closest friends.

What is your favorite when your bored?
Listen to music or surf the internet.

What is your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?
Listen to music and fantasize.

What is your favorite way to get revenge?
Forgive and love!

What is your favorite thing that makes you smile?
Jayesh always puts a smile on my dial =]

What is your favorite word to say?
Mean!

What is your favorite way to wear your hair?
Just natural.

What is your favorite nail color?
'Vixen' by Revlon, which is a dark crimson colour.

What is your favorite t-shirt & jeans?
I don't have a favourite t-shirt. My favourite jeans would be my classic dark blue skinny leg jeans from Just Jeans!

What is your favorite ice breaker in a conversation?
So, what do you do for a living?

What is your favorite way to get attention?
Ignoring them! Haha no that wouldn't be it. Probably just trying to have a good time and laughing lots.

What is your favorite thing about yourself?
That I am a follower of Christ! Sounds cheesy but it is what makes my life really fantastic.