A Life of Love

"So why do I worry, why do I freak out, God knows what I need. You know what I need."

It feels like my efforts are not enough to keep up with this world.
Seeing my friends succeed and pass another stepping stone in their lives is exciting and wonderful to be a part of. They are reaching their long time goals, fulfilling their wildest dreams and living their lives the way they want to. So why is it that it is disheartning to me? I think it is because I feel like I'm not doing anything "successful" or amazing with my life at the moment. Just trying to finish school and study for the final exams. And maybe that's okay because I am quite young and I've got the rest of my life ahead of me. Or maybe it is because even though I try, I'm still gettting nowhere.

A little part inside of me wants to compete with people. It wants to strive to be the best at what I do, to be better than the rest of them. A little voice inside of me told me that I wasn't good enough. "Look where you are now, and look at them. You'll never catch up. You'll never be as good as they are." I felt a fear creep in, a fear I saw amoung my high school friends but never felt till now: what am I going to do with my life? And what is the purpose of this existance?

But my God told me something wonderful. Life is just not about all this competing. It's not about winners and losers. It's not about being the most smartest, most prettiest, most fashionable and on trend, most qualified and educated. It's not about going to the most prestigious course, how many friends and contacts you can accumalate, how many places you have travelled or the fame and money. It is surely not about trophys and awards, or recognition and popularity. Sure these things can be added to life, but they are not what life is about.

³⁶"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" ³⁷Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'³⁸This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' ⁴⁰All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22: 36-40

Life is about love. Loving God and loving people. I look at Jesus and I see that this is how we are supposed to walk. He didn't strive to be the best carpenter in the business, or the best preacher. He didn't live for money, fame, looks or anything that we are so caught up with today. He simply did what His Father put Him on the earth to do: ultimately, love.
To love people in a way that allows them to be free and bring them closer to their Creator. That they may be able to spread that love and advance the Kingdom of God.
To love God and get to know Him better. To fall more deeply in love with Him and continue to seek and thirst for Him. To allow Him to mould us like a Potter and his clay.

At the end of my life, I may not remember the accomplishments I have acheived, the places I have travelled, the money I gained, the fame I acquired, how many friends I had...but I want to have left in my place the legacy of love. I want the people who knew me to be marked with my testimony of how great and good and merciful God has been to me, that they may know His love too. And when I finally see my beautiful Maker, I want Him to say to me, 'Well done, good and faithful servant.'

Whatever God calls us to do, wherever he takes each person reading this, I feel we must hang on to this call to love above all.

"She who has beheld the face of God should never fear the face of man."

Currently listening to: Ascend The Hill - Wind of God

I don't do blog fashion posts, but I adore this online boutique store called Gary Pepper Vintage!

Soo beautiful. Hopefully I will get to wear one of her peices one day.

For more info/pictures, go to: http://garypeppervintage.blogspot.com/

I can't contain this joy.
There's no reason but every reason to say, You are the God of all creation. The maker of the small sparrows and the vast universe. You have given me this fully functional body, the breath in my lungs, this incredible life filled with the friends and family you saw I needed. Thank you for the sun, and this clean air, and the trees and the birds and the food and the clothes. Thank you that even though I can be sad about some things in my life, I still have You. Most of all, thank you for Your love. You are all I need. I praise you because You are good. All the time You are good. And You are mine forever. I love you Father.

Currently listening to: Ascend The Hill - Fall

God will be there for you

'...He leads me beside quiet waters.' Psalm 23:2 NIV

Philip Yancey says, 'Faith means believing in advance, what will only make sense in reverse.' If you fear the future, look back and see how God took care of you in the past. 'This I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness... The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.' (Lamentations 3:21-25 NIV)
You say, 'I don't know what I'll do if my loved one dies.' You will - when the time comes. You say, 'I don't know how I'll pay these bills.' Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides, will be there - when the time comes. You say, 'I'm not qualified to handle this, there's too much I don't know.' Maybe you want to know everything too soon. God will give you wisdom - when the time comes. The key is to meet today's problems with today's strength, and leave tomorrow in God's hands.
During World War II, Arthur Sulzberger, publisher of The New York Times, found it hard to sleep or rid his mind of fear until he adopted these words from the hymn 'Lead, Kindly Light': 'I do not ask to see the distant scene; one step enough for me.' And God isn't going to let you see the distant scene either. No, He promises a lamp for your feet, not a crystal ball for your future. 'He leads me' and that's enough for today. And tomorrow? '...we will find grace to help us when we need it...' (Hebrews 4:16 NLT)

The Word for Today


God has been telling me lately to trust him with my day to day life, with my future, with my past. Sitting at the pier before the sunset together, He told me everything was going to be okay. And like a sheep drawing near to it's shepard, I will trust Him.

Currently listening to: Ascend The Hill - Spend It All

What we have in God is greater than whatever else we don't have.

Count your blessings.

And He awoke me with His gentle voice,

"Open your eyes, beautiful."

Isaiah 54

⁴ "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

⁵ For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

⁶ The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God.

⁷ "For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

⁸ In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,"
says the LORD your Redeemer.

⁹ "To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you again.

¹⁰ Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

¹¹ "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will build you with stones of turquoise,
your foundations with sapphires.

¹² I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.

¹³ All your sons will be taught by the LORD,
and great will be your children's peace.

¹⁴ In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.

¹⁵ If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.

¹⁶ "See, it is I who created the blacksmith
who fans the coals into flame
and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc;

¹⁷ no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
and this is their vindication from me,"

declares the LORD.

This passage brings me peace. I feel like God is talking about His love for me, that even though I was desolate and unfruitful, He will restore and replinish me again.

re·store
–verb (used with object), -stored, -stor·ing.
1.to bring back into existence, use, or the like; reestablish: to restore order.
2.to bring back to a former, original, or normal condition, as a building, statue, or painting.
3.to bring back to a state of health, soundness, or vigor.
4.to give back; make return or restitution of (anything taken away or lost).
5.to reproduce or reconstruct (an ancient building, extinct animal, etc.) in the original state.

A chapter of promise and love from my husband, my Creator.

'Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.'

(Psalm 51:10 NKJV)

Currently listening to: Death Cab for Cutie - Brothers on a Hotel Bed

His.

In the quiet, in the secret conversation between me and my Maker, I found love and forgiveness I do not deserve, that has freed me from the burdans of this world.

All the crap that I have been submerging myself in- the parties, the wild nights in town, the drinking, the obscenity, the world's standard of beauty, the lust, the money- has left me hollow, abandoned and caged. It was fun while it lasted. But it only lead to a dead end. For some reason, it is a path I have walked many times before.

And now I find myself coming Home to my Father's arms, so filthy and hurt, so ready to live my life on His path again, under His love and His protection.
I feel like the prodigal son, who ran away from his father and spent his life in the world's muck, only to find that in the end all he gained was nothing. Realising this he ran back to his father, and was underservingly welcomed with an embrace of forgiveness and unconditional love.
I feel like the lost sheep that has wondered from the flock, to find itself stuck in an unknown and dangerous place. The sheep was found again by it's shepard, who left all the other sheep to find just the one and bring it back home again.
I feel like Angel in the book Redeeming Love, who was loved and treasured by her husband Michael but was tempted to go back to her old ways. Three times she left him, three times he welcomed her back with open arms.

What was God's answer to my cries of regret and helplessness? Just love and forgiveness. So profound, so warm, so freeing.

The things of this world, friends, do not matter compared to Him. Not how many friends you have on Facebook, not how popular you are, not how beautiful you look, not how many experiences or fun times you can accumulate, not drinking, not the latest clothes or trends, not money, not reputation, not music, not anything that matters to you can compare. From many expericences, I can say they can and will leave you wanting.

Having known what it feels like to be an outsider in this faith and what it feels like to be an insider in this faith, I have re-learnt this beautiful message of hope. But I have also learnt that it is important to not get religion/church/christians mixed up with who God is. Religion and everything associated with it can judge you, it can look down upon you and drive you away. But God's love doesn't change for what you've done, what you did, and what you will do. He lifts you up. He embraces you and holds you tighter. He is good and perfect and gentle. Sometimes religion is not.

Currently listening to: Hillsong Unites - All I Need Is You

At the end of the day,

when fun goes, friends leave and beauty has lost all meaning
when the world becomes so cruel
You are the place I run to for shelter and restoration
You are my constant
The One that never left my side
You are truth and hope and love
and
I am Yours
Forever.

Currently listening to: Sigur Rós - Glósóli

Here's to hope. Here's to love. Here's to everything worth living for.

Currently listening to: Death Cab for Cutie - A Movie Script Ending