All the crap that I have been submerging myself in- the parties, the wild nights in town, the drinking, the obscenity, the world's standard of beauty, the lust, the money- has left me hollow, abandoned and caged. It was fun while it lasted. But it only lead to a dead end. For some reason, it is a path I have walked many times before.
And now I find myself coming Home to my Father's arms, so filthy and hurt, so ready to live my life on His path again, under His love and His protection.
I feel like the prodigal son, who ran away from his father and spent his life in the world's muck, only to find that in the end all he gained was nothing. Realising this he ran back to his father, and was underservingly welcomed with an embrace of forgiveness and unconditional love.
I feel like the lost sheep that has wondered from the flock, to find itself stuck in an unknown and dangerous place. The sheep was found again by it's shepard, who left all the other sheep to find just the one and bring it back home again.
I feel like Angel in the book Redeeming Love, who was loved and treasured by her husband Michael but was tempted to go back to her old ways. Three times she left him, three times he welcomed her back with open arms.
What was God's answer to my cries of regret and helplessness? Just love and forgiveness. So profound, so warm, so freeing.
The things of this world, friends, do not matter compared to Him. Not how many friends you have on Facebook, not how popular you are, not how beautiful you look, not how many experiences or fun times you can accumulate, not drinking, not the latest clothes or trends, not money, not reputation, not music, not anything that matters to you can compare. From many expericences, I can say they can and will leave you wanting.
Having known what it feels like to be an outsider in this faith and what it feels like to be an insider in this faith, I have re-learnt this beautiful message of hope. But I have also learnt that it is important to not get religion/church/christians mixed up with who God is. Religion and everything associated with it can judge you, it can look down upon you and drive you away. But God's love doesn't change for what you've done, what you did, and what you will do. He lifts you up. He embraces you and holds you tighter. He is good and perfect and gentle. Sometimes religion is not.
Currently listening to: Hillsong Unites - All I Need Is You
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