"I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if you never take it seriously, you never get hurt, you never get hurt, you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends."

Penny Lane, Almost Famous

Currently listening to: Lydia - Hospital

Currently listening to: Lykke Li - Possibility

Friends?

Again, I can't get to sleep because I'm thinking and thrashing way too much.

Over this week, God has made me aware that who your friends are make up who you are. It is said that the top five people you hang out with are the people you will most likely become and I have seen it prove truthful constantly. I've been thinking about who I hang out with...who I want to hang out with...and who I need to cut out and hold onto in my life, and if I was honest with myself, the answers surprised me a lot.

The people I hang out with now I feel are going on a different path to me in life, and it isn't a road I want to travel on now or later. I do appreciate and love them as friends, but they are not people I ultimately want to become in life. Truth be told, only two people I currently hang out with now are people I want to be around in the long run.

I asked myself the question: If you could hang out with any five people in the world (knowing you would be more like them), dead or alive, who would they be? I actually couldn't make up my mind! Roughly, I thought: a photographer like Jason Nocito, a fashionista like Alexa Chung, my best friend, Jesus Christ...and then I crossed them all off again, apart from Jesus and my best friend of course.

Looking back on my life, some of the people I've made friends with I have regret being friends with at times, but they have somehow shaped my life for the good and for the bad. From those people that have come and gone in my life, I have learnt who I need to let go of and who I need to hold on to.

20 years from now, I want those people who I need in my life to stay in my life.
They are the friends who, when other people say, 'How are you?' say to me: 'How are you? How are you really? I want to know, I want to help, I want to listen.'
They are the friends who would never leave me when I really need them.
They are the friends who do not use me for something they want, but already value and appreciate me for who I am and what I can give.
They are the friends who would never force or pressure me into doing something I wouldn't want to do.
They are the friends who see me in their life for a whole lifetime.
They are the friends who respect my beliefs, values and ambitions.
They are the friends who don't shove advice in my face when I tell them a personal problem.
They are the friends who can laugh, talk and cry with me.
They are friends I ultimately admire and want to be like.

Even if those type of friends in my life add up to a total of two, I wouldn't trade those two for all the friends in the world.
Of course, I have other amazing people in my life whose company I enjoy and embrace, but in the end, whether we decide to keep contact or part ways, I know in my heart who will always be there for me no matter what the weather.

So, knowing that your top closest friends are the people you most likely will become: Who do you hang out with? Who do you want to hang out with? Who do you need to cut out of your life (or spend less time with) and who do you truly need to hold on to?

Currently listening to: Of Mice & Men - Second and Sebring

"Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love. But in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again."

Anon

Currently listening to: Sufjan Stevens - For The Widows In Paradise

Jason Nocito, you rule.

The real truth about love.

Tonite, I've been able to get back on to good grounds with God again thanks to a talk with the loveliest friend of mine. Amoungst other amazing things I have learnt tonite, I felt like I know what love is again and I felt it so clearly too. Or maybe it was just me.

Because my view of relationships between a man and a woman have been screwed up, I didn't have the desire in my heart to marry or to have kids and that sort of thing. I once thought that this was the normal in romantic relationships- the man has the dominant power, the woman serves him and has his children and that's it. I hated that the man had the control because I am all for woman power and I hated that all the woman did was serve and did what the man told her to do. Was this how a relationship in the world was supposed to be? A relationship based on what's normal in society, rules and obligations? I have found that the result of such 'love' is hurt, abuse, anger and disrespect, especially for women. This makes me very upset. Needless to say, my view of relationships sucked!

But then my friend told me something that changed that. A relationship between a man and a woman shouldn't be developed out of obligations and 'you have to do this' or 'I want you to do that.' It's supposed to be done out of a mutual love and respect for one another. For example, a woman may say to a man: 'I'm going to make you dinner not because I have to or because you told me to, but because I love you and I want to do this for you.' Or a man may say to a woman: 'I'm going to buy you this gift, not because you told me to or because you are hinting, but because I adore you, value you and love you.' Isn't that beautiful? Isn't that something you crave? To actually live in a relationship based on genuine love for each other, not simply rules, is to rare to find but so worth fighting for.

What if the messed up relationships and marriages we see around us is in fact, abnormal? What if a relationship based on pure love for each other is the norm? To me it makes perfect sense. Because God intended it that way ever since the creation of the world, but the way relationships are now have just gone way off track to how He planned it. We were made by, for and because of love. What else are we living for?

I have a little spark in my heart now to maybe one day find and settle down with a man who will treat me out of love and vice versa. It is very, very miniscule, but this new perspective of love has got me excited. Just keep it quiet okay :)

Isn't it fascinating that it also applies to our relationship with God? He has given us His love letter, the Bible, not to hold us down from living life, but because He wants us to have life overflowing with blessings, joy and peace! His commandments aren't to see us suffer and burdened, and they are definitely not said with thunder and lightning and wrath like some think. They are said out of love, because God IS love, so why would his words not be of love too? Out of this pure love He has given us His Word, and out of love we obey them. Not out of obligation or even fear I think, but out of a mutual love and respect: 'I choose to obey your commandments, not because I have to and your Word tells me to, but because I love you and I want to please you.'
I'm excited! I pray that this passion and this realisation will keep burning in my heart. Thank you Father for this love.

An Eternal Hope

I get a weekly devotional email from a man who I would say, rescued me and my family. He is a great man of God, and this week I got a particularly exciting one which truly calmed and freed my spirit. Be blessed!:

An Eternal Hope

Based on Revelations 22:1-7, 11-16, 20-21

1 And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb. 2 In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. 3 And there shall be no more curse, but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it, and His servants shall serve Him. 4 They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads. 5 There shall be no night there: They need no lamp nor light of the sun, for the Lord God gives them light. And they shall reign forever and ever. 6 Then he said to me, “These words are faithful and true.” And the Lord God of the holy prophets sent His angel to show His servants the things which must shortly take place. 7 “Behold, I am coming quickly! Blessed is he who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book.”

11 He who is unjust, let him be unjust still; he who is filthy, let him be filthy still; he who is righteous, let him be righteous still; he who is holy, let him be holy still.” 12 “And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work. 13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.” 14 Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the city. 15 But outside are dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and whoever loves and practices a lie. 16 “I, Jesus, have sent My angel to testify to you these things in the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, the Bright and Morning Star.”

20 He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming quickly.” Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus! 21 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen. New King James Version

Reality is something that many times is difficult for us to understand. Many of us do understand reality, but just find it hard to accept. As a result, many try to avoid reality as much as possible. Some will argue that reality is relative. To some extent, that is true. However, there is such a thing as reality and it is eminent no matter how much we try to avoid it, hide from it, deny it, etc.

What is the reality that we are talking about? The reality that everything that we see is imperfect, and not only that, that everything that we see, including ourselves, will one day pass. On this planet, everything that has a beginning has an end.

What is amazing is that even Hollywood understands this concept, despite the fact that in general it has turned rather ungodly over the years promoting vanity, immorality, and destruction, ultimately promoting sin. Most movies you watch, you will see that the characters don’t have perfect lives. You can see that not everything is perfect. They show pain, suffering, and confusion. Along with that, there are good moments in the movies, but as such, they are moments. The “happily ever after” is left as undefined in movies because they only end the movie with the good and happy moment, but you don’t see everything that happens after.

I have to confess that I like soccer a lot. And where I make a special effort to actually watch at least some of the games is during the World Cup. I remember waiting anxiously for the past four years for the World Cup to come. I was ecstatic when the World Cup began this past June, especially seeing Chile play. I enjoyed watching whatever games I was able to watch. Sadly, it ended. Now I have to wait again. The point is that it started and it ended.

Reality is never easy. However, in Christ, there is an eternal hope and reality waiting for those who remain faithful to Him, for those who love Him, and keep his commandments. In Christ, there is something beautiful, perfect and eternal, with no end. Unlike the Hollywood endings, we do know what the end is, and the end is not really the end, but only the beginning of a perfect eternity. For those of us who have trusted our souls to the Creator, we have nothing to worry about. If you are going through tough times right now, it is only for a moment. If you are sick, there will be eternal healing. If you are poor, there are riches in heaven that you can never imagine. If you are in pain, there is a place where it does not exist. If you feel alone and empty, like you don’t belong anywhere, there is an eternal place that will be your home. Whatever your situation, even if it is a good moment right now and you are afraid of it ending, in Christ, there will always be something better.

The reality now is that we live in a time of decision where we all have to decide personally what is what we really want and move forward. Now more than ever, the time has come for each of us to choose. Whether you understand it or not, everything here, Satan, and the World, is pushing us to make choices. But the Lord does not push, but rather invites us with love. Consider this, in Jesus; we have everything to gain and nothing to lose. So it was written, so it shall be done, whether you believe it or not, that is the reality.

Lord bless, John.

Currently listening to: Whitley - The Life I Keep

Today I had a pretty crap day. But at the same time I learnt a few things worth blogging up.
Here they are:

1) Be responsible. Be smart. Don't risk missing an opportunity when it's there waiting for you.
2) Forgive others as God has so mercifully forgiven you.
3) Don't keep your anger in, because from experience you'll only lash out on the people you truly love.

On the flip side, I am finally getting over something I have been carrying for two long years! And I'm stoked. Also, I have been able to say no to alcohol in the weekends even though my friends were drinking around me. Praise God.

That's all for now folks.

Currently listening to: Jonathan Boulet - North to South East to You

Thank You Father

I was reading the Word for Today yesterday morning on how Moses was close and intimate with God, and God with him, but the rest of the Israelites were happy to be distant from Him. In 1 John 2:3-6, it speaks of how obeying God's commandments is how we truly show we love and live in Him. Are we content to be onlookers of faith, or are we too lazy and comfortable to put in the discipline and committment needed to have that incredible faith in our lives?:

'God doesn't want us to be infatuated with the Bible or the church or His blessings. No, He wants you to fall in love with Him. He's not looking for a date, He's looking for a bride! He wants someone who will stick with Him when the going gets tough. Are you ready to put on the ring of committment today?' (Word for Today)

Astounded and even a little bit excited, I felt the need to read the 10 commandments in Exodus again, a chapter I knew but didn't know. Reading through it, I was shocked at myself. In some way or another, I have disobeyed most of the commandments God has given me.

Here are some examples:
v3: 'Worship no god but me.' Music, internet and at times money & materialism. I worship them by spending all my time on them, letting my life be defined and controlled by them and even loving them. They have sadly become my gods.

v7: 'Do not use my name for evil purposes.' Oh the times I have used God's beautiful and holy name in vain, even by accident.

v8: 'Observe the Sabbath and keep it holy.' Lately, I've been so slack with church even though I said to myself years ago I could never miss church. Once you think it's okay to miss one service, you'll later think that it's okay to keep missing services. It's not just about that...it's also about realising that God has set aside a day of rest for us for a reason. After He created the world, He didn't need a break. But He took one so to set an example for the human race- we all need time off, and it is also an opportunity for us to reflect and dedicate this one special day to God. Don't get me wrong , everyday should be a day to dedicated to God, but the Sabbath God has especially set aside as holy.

v17: 'Do not desire another man's [possessions].' I'll have to admit, I do get jealous of people who I perceive have it better than I do- clothes, beauty, family, home and the likes. The truth is, I have an incredible life! All I can do is ask God to help me see, not look, at how truly blessed I am, and to be content with that. Is He not enough?

All this time I had thought that I knew what it was to love God and find joy in Him. But it primarily comes from obeying his loving commandments. They are there not to give us a hard time or to put more pressure on us, but they are there because He loves us and wants the best for us. I ask that God will forgive me for being spiritually blind. I ask God that He will give me the strength and the discipline needed to obey His commandments, whatever the cost. I thank Him for this insight!

How are you and obedience to God?

Currently listening to: The Ember Days - All My Days

Currently listening to: Animal Collective - My Girl

The best gem I've heard in a long while.

Currently listening to: Lydia - I Woke Up Near The Sea

The deep & meaningful blog.

These past two weeks have been ones of conviction & trial.

At Xtend, I was convicted by God to take off the mask I was hiding my emotions and myself behind, to step into the light and to be more vulnerable toward people which is not an easy thing to do for me. All my life I felt like what I had to say wasn't worth hearing, and who I am isn't worth knowing and I still live out day to day. I'm so comfortable hiding behind this mask that dropping that mask at God's feet feels unnerving and almost regrettable. I am dragging out this comfort so I won't have to deal with the confrontation and vulnerability waiting ahead for me, but I know that by God's love I can so step out and I can so conquer this mountain. God is stronger. And the best thing is, he has already won the victory for me. How liberating is that!

I also went to Melbourne with a some friends to see a beautiful sister of mine Sinead. It has been lovely just hanging out and talking with her and the others, but I withdrew quite a lot during that time because I'm certainly not used to being around people for so long. My alone time is a very important part of my life and I draw most of my strength from that, so to constantly have people around me was quite a test of my reliance on God. I knew without him I would (and did) snap and withdraw, but with Him I felt like his love and patience and peace was living throughout me instead. It has taught me so much to draw from Him and not from myself which I am used to doing.

To come back to a broken home was something I felt fearful of, and it breaks me sometimes, but I am so grateful to live in such a beautiful paradise of a country. To call this place home, to be familiar with it, to breathe it in, simply makes me happy and content. Thinking about it, I'm thankful that I do not live in a broken home in a broken country which I am aware alot of people out there have to deal with.

All I can say at the end of these two uncomfortable but insightful weeks is: Thank you, Father!

Some photos from Melbourne:

& one from Xtend:

For more Xtend photos, click here.

Currently listening to: Elle Goulding - Starry Eyed

In The Refiner's Fire

'He will sit like a refiner of silver...' Malachi 3:3


Are you in the refiner's fire today? If you are, don't rebel or try to run away, just sit still and let the refiner do His work. The Bible says: 'He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross. He will purify [them], refining them like gold and silver, so that they may once again offer acceptable sacrifices to the Lord.' (Malachi 3:3). A woman once read this verse at a Bible Study and wanted to know how it related to her walk with God, so she made an appointment with a silversmith. Without mentioning anything other than general interest in the process, she sat and observed him work. She watched as he held the silver over the fire, explaining that in order to burn away every impurity he had to keep it in the middle where it was hottest. She asked him if he usually sat in front of the fire the entire time. 'Yes,' he replied, 'not only do I have to hold it, I must watch it. If I leave it there too long it will be destroyed.' After thinking about that for a while, she asked, 'How do you know when the process is complete?' Smiling, he replied, 'That's easy; I see my face reflected in it.' If you're in the refiner's fire today, remember:
a) He knows what He's doing, so trust him
b) He won't allow you to be destroyed by the circumstances, or take His eye off you
c) when the process is complete, you'll be more like Jesus and less like your old self.
Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you prayed for?

The Word for Today

Currently listening to: Paramore - Misguided Ghosts

All I can be

I have had some thoughts running around my head lately, mainly about being yourself.

I think ever since I became a teen, I had this notion that to be cool was to do what everyone else was doing, which was drinking, swearing, doing drugs, dressing in the most coolest (sometimes sluttiest) clothes. Shameful I know. Sometimes I still get swept up in this whole teenage madness.
It's a damaging thing, to turn your back on what you truly know is right to fit in and look cool in other people's eyes. At the end of it all, we are all somewhat insecure and struggling to find real purpose and meaning in life. And I guess in the meantime, we fill the cracks with poison.

I'll be straight up, I do worry a lot about what other people think about me. I am a little insecure. I have major flaws. I am struggling to find myself every day. But should it be this hard, to be yourself? To let go?
I realise that I have to stop trying to be someone I think people will enjoy being around, I have to stop dressing to please, I have to stop trying to look like this or that. I have to learn, essentially, to be comfortable in being me. I got to repeat to myself that I'd rather be loved for who I am than be loved for someone I'm not.

It's okay if I am not like the next person you see, all cool without even trying.
It's okay if I don't have so much friends, in real life and on facebook.
It's okay if I have nothing to say.
It's okay if I am simply content in life, sleeping, enjoying the people around me, listening to music, photographing and discovering who God is. I actually don't need to ruin that with alcohol and regrets.
It's okay if I don't wear the most on trend clothes, or have the most nicest hair, or have the most toned body or skin.

I was surprised how easily I got jealous at other people's talents and life, particularly with photography. It got to the point where I had to re-evaluate why I am doing what I do. I love everything about pictures. And the reason why I take photography is because God has given me this love for it and from that stemed this desire to create something beautiful, time-surpassing and to show people how I see life from my point of view. If I compared myself to other people, I will become discouraged, but if I think myself better than other people, I will become big-headed, and neither is good. I have to learn to walk with God in our own pace. Popularity, money and fame has nothing to do with what I am doing and it never will.

Basically, everything I am, everything I do, should be fully used for God's glory.
Because He loves me so and looked at me deeply and said 'You are good.'
When I use my talents and when I am esentially me, how God created me to be, I am glorifying God. He can & will use that to bless others, too.
God made you and I for a wonderful reason & that is all we can fully, wholly, truly be. Let's love that.

Currently listening to: Angus & Julia Stone - Santa Monica Dream