Sex

This is a pretty bold subject for me to be talking about, but there are a few things I'd like to share on the matter after a talk with a good friend of mine about it. These are my thoughts.

Before our conversation, (I'll be straight up) I wasn't a really firm believer in sex before marriage. I think this is because alot of my friends have had it already and I saw them as perfectly fine, not screwed up or flawed from having sex before they were tied down. It may have also been because I was (and still am) a hormonal and rash teenager, a naive and inexperienced player in the game of love. I knew sex was important, but I didn't understand how important it really was.

Sex is good, yes. But sex is also sacred, and beautiful, and made for two people who truly are in love.

My friend told me about this conference she went to about marriage where a few men talked about sex. They basically said, having sex before marriage is just plain dumb. Not because it is going out of God's will, but because the reality is, some men will try flirt and be gentlemanly to woman to try get that from them. After they do, the woman is pretty much useless to them. It's stupid that a woman can so easily just give up her body like that, only to be used and tossed out, and maybe even hurt and scarred for life. It's dumb. I am not saying that all men are like that, or that this is always the case, but it is quite commonplace in our society today.
I remember a while back I found out two guys were trying to see who could get me in bed first, which is shaming to me. I didn't know this before, so I didn't realise their real motives behind their friendliness towards me. But if I gave into their momentary kindness, I know it would be something I would've regretted and hated about myself. To have any woman's body cheaply used is just sad. The body we were given is a temple.

A while back, I was reading a book about a man and Jesus talking to each other on a personal level. The topic of sex came up. And Jesus basically says to the man that he doesn't restrict sex because he doesn't want us to enjoy it, but because it is good. It is something to be enjoyed with someone who has made a committment to you. Like something valueble and precious, it should be used with great love and care. I think Jesus doesn't look down upon sex. He created it, and meant for it to be amazing and significant and spiritual. And he wants it to be used wisely because of that.

Scientifically, my friend also mentioned that it was proven that people who do not have sex before marriage are more likely to have better sex, and she goes on to say that this is because you don't have any other experiences to compare it to. Also, there is the consistency of having one partner to make love with, instead of having a whole history of good and bad experiences that could affect how you have sex with your partner...if that doesn't make sense, it really did in my head. I also read somewhere that when you have sex with someone, there is something in your body which links up with their body, creating a soul tie- something that cannot be removed, something permanent. Whether it's a random guy off a street, an ex-boyfriend or someone you now hate, if you had sex with them, you pretty much have connections with them forever.
This is so vague I know. I may be wrong, I may be misleading, but this is just my opinion from what I know.

Lately God has been repeating to me one word: Respect. I know I have done things I have regretted with boys, like kiss them without really knowing who they were, or allowed myself to be taken advantage of. It has really hit me recently that I don't deserve, and neither do you, such lousy treatment from boys (or girls). I am reminded of the chorus of the song by India Arie called Because I Am A Queen:

I'm not the average from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
but I learned to love myself unconditionally
because I am a queen.
I'm not the average from your video
my worth is not determined by the price of my clothes.

I can't stress enough how much you are worth it.
You are worth respect both verbally and physically from the opposite sex. You are worth someone who will chase you and love you for who you are first before sex, not because of it. You are worth more than a short skirt and a bottle of alcohol. You are worth respect from your very self. You are not determined by anything apart from what God says about you. And God says you are worth it.

Listen to: A Day To Remember - 2nd Sucks