White as snow.

This weekend, I went to the Cleansing Streams Retreat, which is like a conference where people pray over you for different topics such as anger, shame, rejection and all other forms of darkness. One topic that we covered was sexual immorality, which was the most outstanding for me.

The lecturer talked about the concept of 'soul-ties' which scared me. I have heard of that term before, but some things were new to me. Basically, he explained that when you have sex with someone, you create a soul-tie with them, meaning that you most probably inherited some of their spiritual problems in having sex, whether it would be freemasonary, witchcraft, depression or the likes. Not only do you create this destructive bond physically, but it could also happen if you have emotional soul-ties with someone too. The lecturer illustrated this point by showing us a group of people holding each others hands, which represented the chain of soul-ties that happens when we have physical or emotional relationships with people outside of marriage. You can imagine how long that chain would be, and how destructive it would be too!
What shocked me even more was the statistics of sexual partners we have in the world and New Zealand. According to the lecturer, people in the rest of the world normally have 7 sexual partners on average...but in New Zealand, the average in 16! Now, that is scary thought - how many spiritual problems, or even physical problems, have we inherited because we carelessly slept with a few people? The pleasure is temporary, but the pain outweighs it by a milestone.

On our worksheet, there was a list of about 30 sexual sins and we were told to circle which sins we had been involved in. With shame, I scanned through the list and realized that I had been involved in most of them in some form or another. We were also told to write down the names of the people we had emotional or spiritual soul-ties with, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. In equally burning shame, I wrote down the names of the people I had sex with or hooked up with, and went up for prayer.

The lady that was praying for me was wonderful, but after the first prayer I still didn't feel right. During the second prayer, a blonde lady came and prayed for me too. The blonde lady walked away after the prayer was finished, but she came back and told me that she felt God was saying that He wanted to restore me completely. She asked me if I was married and I replied no, and she said that when I do enter into marriage, I will be a virgin. I was weeping beforehand, but when she said this a flood of tears burst forth. I was completely overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of God. There are no words that I can find that can explain how free and loved I felt at that very moment. I felt like I was honored, even though I did not deserve it in any way. Amazing grace, indeed! To think that the holy God I serve has seen all my sexual sin, too numerous for me to remember, and washed me clean by the blood of the lamb, to be remembered no more, is incredible. But He didn't stop there. He has also declared me a virgin in His sight, and told me,

"Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool." 

Isaiah 1:18b

For me,  the very fact that God has done this because of Jesus' death on the cross and because of His burning love for me, made me inwardly convinced that sex in my life is truly and strictly going to be kept for marriage. I do not want to have sex, or hook up, or be involved in any other sexual sin any longer. The sexual sins I have committed in the past has all been covered under God's grace, and I have no desire to try to extend and cheapen that grace. The very thought of doing something like that makes me sick. God's forgiveness has so astounded and impacted me, that I know I have been changed forever!

I want to encourage those who are reading this: no matter how many people you have slept with or hooked up with, whether you watch porn or have been involved in sexual gratification, whatever sexual sin you have done, Jesus has nailed each and every one of them to the cross and will forgive you from all sin if you choose to repent and lay it all at the cross. His grace and love is so deep that it will cover all sin and shame - and if you let Him, He will restore to you that which was lost too. Yes, we serve a holy God who detests sin, but we also serve a God whose grace is so deep that if we sank into it we would never reach the bottom. You can be pure, sanctified, and forgiven in Jesus Christ like I was this weekend!

God is good, hey?!

A little sister's letter.

I thought I would share with you guys what my little 11 year old sister wrote to me recently - not because it was flattering, but because it was pretty darn cute.

'My Sister Taught Me'

She taught me that Parks and Recreation is awesome!

She taught me that people can change.

She taught me not to be a bad influence.

She taught me personality counts as much as looks.

She taught me to be organized for everything.

She taught me to keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

She taught me to love.

She taught me to be grateful.

She taught me to be nice to anyone.

She taught me to share love.

She told me not to pop pimples because there will be scars.

She taught me not to swear.

She taught me to choose good friends.

She taught me to save myself for the cart trophy.*

She taught me to date older.

She taught me to pray for the necessary things.

She taught me that trust can take a longgg time to build up.

She taught me that doing something bad is bad but lying about it is worser.

She taught me that we are God's children.

She taught me integrity.

She taught me to follow my dreams.

She taught me that God is with each and everyday and that we should always look up to him.

She taught me EVERYTHING <3

*Recently I told her that seeking a romantic relationship is like an extreme go cart course. You have the cones which are the boys you need to avoid, and then you have the explosive mines which are like the boys you really need to avoid. God drives this go cart with you by his side, and at the end of this go cart course there is a wonderful prize: the trophy - the man that God has kept for you to marry.

Well, needless to say - I love her!

Currently listening to: The Shins - It's Only Life

Psalm 34.

"I will extol the Lord at all times;

his praise will always be on my lips.

My soul will boast in the Lord;

let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me;

let us exalt His name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;

he delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to Him are radiant;

their faces are never covered with shame.

This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;

he saved him from all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him,

and He delivers them.

Taste and see that the Lord is good;

blessed is the man that takes refuge in Him.

Fear the Lord, you saints,

for those who fear Him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry,

but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Come, my children, listen to me;

I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Whoever of you loves life

and desires to see many good days,

keep your tongue from evil

and your lips from speaking lies.

Turn from evil and do good;

seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous

and His ears are attentive to their cry;

the face of the Lord us against those who do evil,

to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;

he delivers them from all their trouble.

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles,

but the Lord delivers him from them all;

he protects his bones,

not one of them will be broken.

Evil will slay the wicked;

the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

The Lord redeems His servants;

no one will be condemned who takes refuge in Him."

Wherever you are in life - everything will be okay.

 

  

Currently listening to: Ascend The Hill - Song of the Redeemed

Psalm 18.

Lately, I've been having a hard time dealing with certain people, one of them being a guy at work who is harrassing me and making work feel very uncomfortable. In anguish, when I heard that he was making me out to be the bad person to our co-workers and was spreading a rumour about me, I cried out to God and let out all my feelings of hatred and anger. I felt so alone and unsupported. No one was there to defend me it seemed. I felt like my cries rebounded off the walls, and in desperation I asked God where He was. Immediately, voice spoke into my spirit and said, 'I'm right here.'
A couple of days later, I was watching the movie 'Facing the Giants' and was completely moved by it. It's about a man named Grant Taylor, who is a Christian, but was facing a crisis in life. The football team he was coaching hadn't won a game in 6 years, his car constantly broke down, his house was falling apart, and maybe worst of all, his wife was unable to get pregnant even though they had tried to conceive a baby. In the middle of the night, in utter desperation, he got up and read his Bible and again in the morning when he went out into the fields and read a beautiful passage in Psalm. In the back of my head, I wondered where exactly that passage was. Grant cried out to God and decided then and there to commit everything to Him, knowing that if he did his best, God will do the rest. As the rest of the film progresses, Grant's life gradually comes together in God's perfect will for him. God's blessing pours over him and overwhelms him. I was in tears nearly throughout the whole movie! It resounded with me and just proved that if you give God your everything, even though it may be very little, God can mulitply it and make something truly beautiful.
Later on that night, I had my devotional and it lead me to the exact passage that Grant Taylor read in the movie in the midst of his crisis! I was so humbled and blown away. It was so unexpected, and it is such a wonderful passage. I don't think I have ever been so moved by Scripture before. Be blessed as you read Psalm 18, wherever you are in your life:

"I love you, LORD, my strength.

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I have been saved from my enemies.
The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.
The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.
Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.
He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.

He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
The LORD thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded.
He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy,
with great bolts of lightning he routed them.
The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, LORD,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.

The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.
For I have kept the ways of the LORD;
I am not guilty of turning from my God.
All his laws are before me;
I have not turned away from his decrees.

I have been blameless before him
and have kept myself from sin.
The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
to the blameless you show yourself blameless,
to the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the devious you show yourself shrewd.
You save the humble
but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.
You, LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall.

As for God, his way is perfect:
The LORD’s word is flawless;
he shields all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the LORD?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and keeps my way secure.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he causes me to stand on the heights.
He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You make your saving help my shield,
and your right hand sustains me;
your help has made me great.
You provide a broad path for my feet,
so that my ankles do not give way.

I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
I crushed them so that they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.
You armed me with strength for battle;
you humbled my adversaries before me.
You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
and I destroyed my foes.
They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
to the LORD, but he did not answer.
I beat them as fine as windblown dust;
I trampled them like mud in the streets.
You have delivered me from the attacks of the people;
you have made me the head of nations.
People I did not know now serve me,
foreigners cower before me;
as soon as they hear of me, they obey me.
They all lose heart;
they come trembling from their strongholds.

The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
Exalted be God my Savior!
He is the God who avenges me,
who subdues nations under me,
who saves me from my enemies.
You exalted me above my foes;
from a violent man you rescued me.
Therefore I will praise you, LORD, among the nations;
I will sing the praises of your name.

He gives his king great victories;
he shows unfailing love to his anointed,
to David and to his descendants forever."

Currently listening to: Andy Grammer - Build Me A Girl