White as snow.

This weekend, I went to the Cleansing Streams Retreat, which is like a conference where people pray over you for different topics such as anger, shame, rejection and all other forms of darkness. One topic that we covered was sexual immorality, which was the most outstanding for me.

The lecturer talked about the concept of 'soul-ties' which scared me. I have heard of that term before, but some things were new to me. Basically, he explained that when you have sex with someone, you create a soul-tie with them, meaning that you most probably inherited some of their spiritual problems in having sex, whether it would be freemasonary, witchcraft, depression or the likes. Not only do you create this destructive bond physically, but it could also happen if you have emotional soul-ties with someone too. The lecturer illustrated this point by showing us a group of people holding each others hands, which represented the chain of soul-ties that happens when we have physical or emotional relationships with people outside of marriage. You can imagine how long that chain would be, and how destructive it would be too!
What shocked me even more was the statistics of sexual partners we have in the world and New Zealand. According to the lecturer, people in the rest of the world normally have 7 sexual partners on average...but in New Zealand, the average in 16! Now, that is scary thought - how many spiritual problems, or even physical problems, have we inherited because we carelessly slept with a few people? The pleasure is temporary, but the pain outweighs it by a milestone.

On our worksheet, there was a list of about 30 sexual sins and we were told to circle which sins we had been involved in. With shame, I scanned through the list and realized that I had been involved in most of them in some form or another. We were also told to write down the names of the people we had emotional or spiritual soul-ties with, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. In equally burning shame, I wrote down the names of the people I had sex with or hooked up with, and went up for prayer.

The lady that was praying for me was wonderful, but after the first prayer I still didn't feel right. During the second prayer, a blonde lady came and prayed for me too. The blonde lady walked away after the prayer was finished, but she came back and told me that she felt God was saying that He wanted to restore me completely. She asked me if I was married and I replied no, and she said that when I do enter into marriage, I will be a virgin. I was weeping beforehand, but when she said this a flood of tears burst forth. I was completely overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of God. There are no words that I can find that can explain how free and loved I felt at that very moment. I felt like I was honored, even though I did not deserve it in any way. Amazing grace, indeed! To think that the holy God I serve has seen all my sexual sin, too numerous for me to remember, and washed me clean by the blood of the lamb, to be remembered no more, is incredible. But He didn't stop there. He has also declared me a virgin in His sight, and told me,

"Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool." 

Isaiah 1:18b

For me,  the very fact that God has done this because of Jesus' death on the cross and because of His burning love for me, made me inwardly convinced that sex in my life is truly and strictly going to be kept for marriage. I do not want to have sex, or hook up, or be involved in any other sexual sin any longer. The sexual sins I have committed in the past has all been covered under God's grace, and I have no desire to try to extend and cheapen that grace. The very thought of doing something like that makes me sick. God's forgiveness has so astounded and impacted me, that I know I have been changed forever!

I want to encourage those who are reading this: no matter how many people you have slept with or hooked up with, whether you watch porn or have been involved in sexual gratification, whatever sexual sin you have done, Jesus has nailed each and every one of them to the cross and will forgive you from all sin if you choose to repent and lay it all at the cross. His grace and love is so deep that it will cover all sin and shame - and if you let Him, He will restore to you that which was lost too. Yes, we serve a holy God who detests sin, but we also serve a God whose grace is so deep that if we sank into it we would never reach the bottom. You can be pure, sanctified, and forgiven in Jesus Christ like I was this weekend!

God is good, hey?!