One thing so far that has struck me heaps, and that I keep thinking about over and over, is this: the deep hurts and pains you have now come from what has happened to you in the past. Say, if your dad, mum or someone you love has said something hurtful, those mean words have contributed to your pain today.
Maybe you've heard the words 'You're useless'...and today you believe that you're not good enough for anything, that you shouldn't even try lest you fail.
Maybe you've heard the words 'You're ugly'...and today you believe that you can never be beautiful, that if someone says you are you believe that they are lying. Today you are running to clothes and boys and money for your worth, and you are stopping the light inside of you from shining because you are self-concious.
Maybe your parents or someone that you love never spent any time with you and thought you as a waste of space, and today you aren't confident to be yourself in case you are a burdan to someone too. Today you are asking the question, 'Aren't I good enough?' You think you are not deserving, and settle for second best.
Maybe you've been physically abused, and today you are ashamed of the scars. You push people around, or maybe you are angst around them. Today you are untrusting of men, you don't want to marry, and you are a skeptic of ever finding true love. The void that should of been filled by that loving male figure in your life was not, and today you are running to every boy to fill that emptiness.
It's hard to say, and even harder to say on the world wide web, that all those past hurts that I have mentioned happened to me. I want to type this blog because something inside of me is telling me too. You see, the way you are now is for a reason. The confusion, the hurts, the pain, the awful flashbacks, the terror, the constant nightmares...
And maybe like me, you have hidden your true self, the person that God wants you to be, intended you to be and lovingly made you to be. You have put on this fake image because you are afraid that people won't accept you and love you for who you truly are. Because life seems so much easier being someone else than being you. But in reality, being set free to be yourself is the only true freedom.
There's a daily devotional I read, and one of them talks about being someone else because you feel that's the only way your going to be accepted. It reads,
"When we try to impress people we think are important, we're trophy collecting. In her book, 'Glittering Images' Susan Howatch tells about a clergyman who devoted his life to always appearing godly, wise, loving and charismatic. Meanwhile his soul starves because no one knows him. 'They never met the man I keep hidden. They just meet the man on public display. I call him glittering image because he looks so good in the mirror. But beyond him...lies the angry stranger who appears in the mirror whenever the glittering image goes absent without leave.' His ministry was his trophy- and also his prison. But there's another trophy to collect- the right kind. And you don't have to outdo anyone else to get one."
What is that right trophy to collect? Well, to me, it is striving to be that wonderful person God has created you to be. Because when you are yourself, you are bringing glory to God and pleasing Him. He has made you the way you are for a special reason. He sees right through you, but He loves you for all the things His beautiful eyes do see.
Who sees your bad hair days, and loves you anyway?
Who sees the stuff ups you do every day, heck, every second, but picks you up, dusts you off, holds your hand and walks on with you anyway?
Who sees your past and the things you've done and regretted, who sees the sins you have done today and sins you will do in the future, but died for each and every one of them because He believes you are worth it? Who throws those past sins as far as the east is from the west?
Who sees your hurts and your pains and your struggles, but will be with you to the very end of time, and for eternity after that?
Who knows that you are going to fall, and softens the blow?
Who cries when you cry, hurts when you hurts, dances when you dance, laughs when you laugh, smiles when you smile?
Who listens to your rants, your complaints and your secrets you say to Him that you would never say to anyone else?
Who understands your stresses and your longings, and says that if you would just put Him first He will give you all the things you need because He knows them all?
Who looks past what you look like, and craves what's on the inside instead, despite us insulting him by saying we are fat, not good enough, not pretty enough, just not enough?
Who knows all this, yet longs for you and all of you, yet desires you, yet wants to be your Father, your friend, your saviour, your refuge?
Who...loves you so much and promises that when you walk through dark valleys, fire and deep waters that He will be with you? Who would give up whole nations to save your life? Who says that when you are weak, He will be strong for you?
You know the answer. Just say the name and believe. Believe that you can be set free from the chains of hurt and pain, and find restoration and peace of mind through Him alone. It's hard, so hard. There will be tears and you will stuff up. There will be hurts and disappointments. But that's just proof your on your way Home, because Satan does everything he can to stop you from becoming free from his grip.
I believe you can do it. I believe you're worth it. More importantly, God believes you are worth it, and that is the only thing that matters.
You don't need to put on this glittering image, beautiful child of God.
Take it off,
be yourself,
feel true liberation
and take up the life that was meant, and is waiting, for you.
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