Edie Sedgewick

The more I live, the more I realise what's important in life. Cliche maybe, but it's helping me overcome my illness like nothing has before.
I want to help people. I want to encourage them and make them smile and laugh with them, because when they are uplifted it ultimately uplifts me too. It brings meaning into my life. It brings me hope and joy and pleases God. It's a feeling like no other, the feeling you get when you live for others and not for yourself.

I have been crazy thinking about my future seeing as there are 12 weeks left of school...forever. How 10 years has passed by so quickly, I'm not even sure. It seems like yesterday I was looking at myself in the mirror, hair pulled back tight in a ponytail, white socks pulled up to my knees, taking deep breaths and wondering in the car if I was going to make it through high school. I was terrified that it would be too hard for me. Look at me now, finishing high school, doing better than I would have ever expected. How I have changed within those 5 challanging years.
I actually have my next year all planned out, but I am freaking out because I'm worried that it won't work out, that some plans will fail and I won't get where I want to be. It has taught me to completely give it to God, and to let his wisdom and guidance lead me where He wants me to be. It is a strangley amazing feeling, to be skeptical but trusting and excited and determined all at once. Maybe kind of like how one would feel about to do a sky dive or bungy jump.

Also, I just finished watching Factory Girl which I personally think was a fascinating and amazing movie. It's about 60's icon Edie Sedgewick and her relationship with Andy Warhol and his infamous factory, which inevitably leads to her drug overdose at the age of 28. She was such a beautiful charming star and it was quite a shame to see her spiral downwards like that. I thought it was edgy at first, but seeing how much she messed up her life put me back into reality and has made me even more determined to make my life count for something. In the making of it, the director said he wanted to make this film to essentially teach people that before you find love, you've got to find yourself and know who you are. Such a powerful message.

Edie Sedgewick

So that's what's happening in my side of town. Content, yes :)