Ramblings.

It's awfully easy to compare yourself with other girls. Sometimes I'll look at a lady and think, 'I'll never be like that. I am much too lonely, much too quiet, much too screwed up to be pretty and wonderful.' Other times I try to anchor myself on the truth that I am not defined by who I think I am or what I have but by God. Everlasting He is, and He calls me precious, worthy to die for and a masterpeice in my own way.

It's getting harder to allow God to strip me from me. There is this form of panic that hits me everytime I realise how much there is to sacrifice for Him. I am lying on the alter, apprehensive, worrying because for the first time I'm going to experience what it feels like to hold close to nothing. But I trust Him. God, I trust you. In my heart I know there is nothing to fear, for when I lose myself I am gaining Him.
For me, the hardest thing to give up to God is finding a man to one day call my husband. I officially gave that to God today and decided from here on out I'm going to focus on the calling that God has for my life instead. Some people are callled to be single their whole life and there is that possibility that it may be my calling too. I trust that if it is, God will help me live out single life with a pure heart. You know, thinking about it, I don't really mind if I marry or not. There is this overrated hype over it these days...or maybe I am just speaking from inexperience? Ah, all I know is that boys come as one of my last priorities now.
As uncomfortable this whole season of refining is (who knew that trying not to care about trivial things is so hard to do?), I feel so content. It is such a joy to surrender to God, sacrifice for God and please God.

Listen to: The Paper Kites - Woodland