Hello!

I had a wonderful weekend. I had drinks with my flatmates at a bar, went to see my friend who flew down from Auckland to play a gig at Puppies, and after a night with no sleep, went to the farmer's market and got some fruit and an assortment of foreign food. So in love with waking up in the morning and enjoying the city when no one else is around.

On Saturday morning at around 5am, I couldn't get to bed, so I decided to go for a power walk around Oriental Bay. While I was exercising, I was reminded of a man I saw recently who waded into the cold water at the very same spot in the early morning for a swim, and I thought how beautiful someone's life would be if they did that every morning. Spontaneously, I decided to go for a swim in the night ocean. I found a secluded spot where no one could see me, took of my clothes and my running shoes, and with a squeal I jumped into the water. I swum and swum and swum, the water closing over my head, and as I looked up at the night sky, all I could feel was happiness. I wish I stayed longer, but this beach has been known to have sharks in the shallows, but anyhow, it was such an exhilarating experience. Because of my skin, I have never worn a bikini and swum in the ocean in all my life. To do so, in my bra and underwear, was a small dream come true. That crisp morning, I ran home laughing, hair and clothes wet, sand in my shoes, a new sort of happiness running through my heart.

I can't believe it's been a month since my heartbreak. When I talked to my best friend on Skype about it, she told me that the first thing I needed to do before anything else was to take care of myself. And that's exactly what I have been doing, and my goal in life at the moment. To run, to enjoy beautiful sunsets, to jump into the ocean laughing, to look at the stars, to eat well but also to buy a bag of chocolate and eat them all in bed, to paint glitter on my nails, to dye my hair a crazy color, to smile, and laugh, and flirt, and dammit, to dance like crazy. I know ever since that night in bed when I cried and cried and thought that hope was over, God has been comforting me and embracing me so tightly that no matter where I am or what I do or how I feel, I feel warmth - a warmth that comes only from knowing that you are loved.

My recommendation - if you feel like you have lost it, if you feel unmotivated, if you feel so utterly heartbroken and disappointed with life - is to do something stupidly insane and never look back! I am sure that if you put yourself out there like that, life will reward you for it. What is there to lose? Life is beautiful and no matter how you feel, if you look for it's beauty you will always see it.