It's okay not to feel okay.

I'm feeling quite overwhelmed by all the amount of assignments and to-do lists that came out of nowhere just after my 4 week holiday, which, if I am being honest, wasn't such a good idea because of just that - it was a holiday. Now I'm stuck in holiday mode where the most energy I am used to exerting in a day is getting out of bed to make coffee when I should be studying and getting those assignments done. Harvard psychologist Jerome Bruner says, 'You're more likely to act yourself into feeling; than feel yourself into action.' Boy, I wish that I could really believe that. In more exciting news, I got a job! Seriously, praise God - He has blessed me so much. This past year I have re-learnt the importance of having faith and trust in Him despite not knowing how things are going to work out or if He will really come through for me. I've ackowledged that I've got to throw that doubt out the window and just...believe. So, with the new job and the hectic term of exams (which will no doubt in my mind be studied for last minute), my mind is going a little haywire. Nothing me and my Jesus can't take on, though. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Everyday I've got to load up the PMA (positive mental attitude, f.y.i.).

I've also gotten into a good habit of doing a Bible reading plan which came with the new Bible I got recently. I havn't felt this enthused about reading God's Word in a long time and I'm enjoying it so much. I love opening to a story and learning something wonderful while also getting inspired by those men and women of God in ancient times. The faith, the love, the complete and helpless trust in God they had humbles me and pushes me to have that kind of relationship with God. Best story in the reading plan I've read so far? Jacob working 7 years to marry the lady he loved, Rachel.

I'm not too sure why, but with everything that has been going on I've become a recluse. I'd have to make a completely seperate post to explain that, though. All I have to say now is that my values and morals in life have become more concrete now. I'm going through that phase where I'm experiencing the wonderful but dreadful feeling of anticipation of watching the dust that has been agitated for so long settle down more. And if that means being a recluse, at the end of the day, it really is okay to feel how I feel...it really is okay to not be okay.

Listen to: David Dallas - Caught in a Daze feat. Freddie Gibbs