My first kiss was a mistake. I was around 14 or 15 and it was the first time I got drunk. My friend and I met some guys on the beach and I kissed one of them. It was horrible because I don't remember his name or what he looked like. I don't even remember what the kiss was like. I don't remember if I got butterflies in my stomach and I don't remember if he looked like he did too. It is something I regret because girls always dream of what their first kiss will be like and hope it will be amazing. We hope it will be with a boy we really like. We hope that there will be fireworks in the air when it happens and it will just feel right. We hope it will be not too fast, not too slow, not too hard and not too soft. We hope it will be perfect. But, the people I have talked to about this say their first kiss was less than amazing, me included. I think it is because we set up this high expectation of what it will be like and we get disappointed when it is less that what we hoped for.
My first love, on the other hand, has not happened yet. I've never fell head over heels in love with a man before. There have been cases where I have had a 'thing' with a guy but it always ends up in the gutter. There was this one guy who I liked so much. He made me feel like nothing I have ever felt before and I was so close to going out with him. But, in the end, I felt like he used me and left me. He began saying the same things he said to me to other girls, and then come back to me when he got desperate. Right now, I say screw romance. Cupid hates me I'm sure.
Currently listening to: Copeland - Strange and Unprepared
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