Oh, hi...

All I can say is that this was a bit of a fail.

As some of you know, I took on an oath to stay off entertainment and social networking sites (including blogspot) for a month, but here I am! It's been a week but I couldn't help myself. All is not lost however - I have been staying off alcohol, drugs and smoking and I havn't been on my other main sites Facebook and Tumblr. I just thought that staying off my blogspot was unnecessary - it is my way to let out my feelings and thoughts and hopefuly inspire people who read my blog while doing so. There is no other feeling like getting a comment from someone that enjoys or is touched by what I have to say.

So how have things been going? Well, I sent in my application for Ministry Training College and am waiting to hear from them in a couple weeks time. In the meantime, I have been spending time with friends and family, hanging out with my dog recently dubbed DJ (short for Doggie Jack), watching DVDS, catching up on sleep and most awesome of all, I have been spending time with God. Most days, I sit in silence and read His Word and learn more about his will for my life. I feel more stable and content. I think it has also helped my put perspective on my recent heartbreak.

I realised that just because the boy I had trouble over was everything I wanted in a man (skates, christian, tattooed etc), it does NOT compensate for the way he made me feel - embarrassed, hurt, depressed and not beautiful, like there was something wrong with me. It is such a profound understanding for me, and this very truth is really healing me! I feel so much better. I don't cry and I don't get upset over it. It has been a tear filled, hard and heartbreaking journey but I am much stronger and wiser because of it, aswell as more grateful for my friends who have helped me recover. So just in case anyone of you becomes heartbroken, or is heartbroken, over a boy who you thought was everything you wanted, I want to remind you that nothing that he is can make up for your broken heart. You are truly worth someone who will actually treat you well.

Something that has also spoke to me was the recent death of a family friend. I first met him when we took a family trip to Vietnam and spent most of the time with him and his family. He was a quiet, good-natured man and he especially favoured my little sister, buying her gifts and looking out for her. He studied at University. It had been around 3 years since I last heard from him and his family until my mum told me that he died yesterday. He just graduated University and was riding on his motorbike when he got into an accident with a truck. His family is obviously upset- apart from his tragic death, they had spent so much money on giving him an education to only end up losing him. It is just so sad. It reminds me of how unfair and upside down life is. Just like that, everything can be taken away from you. My mum said to me, 'Life means nothing if you don't have God.'
Life is so short, gone like a whisper. I am grateful because this life is not my home. When I die, it is my birthday in eternal life, real life. As a human, it is one of my missions to give people who don't have that hope that same gift.

So, on a lighter note, I'm glad to be back on blogger because I love writing out my thoughts. I hope everyone had a nice long weekend!

xox

Currently listening to: Alicia Keys - Try Sleep With A Broken Heart