I feel like whenever I take one step forward, I take two steps back. I feel like I am the prodigal son, coming back to God's arms again and again, realizing and grasping redemption and then stupidly letting it go again. I run but there are dead ends all around me.
Life is all about learning. I realize that it is not about arriving, but about the journey.
Learning what is important and learning what is not.
Learning who to hold close to your heart and learning who to let go.
Learning to embrace your past and trust God with your future and learning to forgive those who hurt you.
Learning to accept and love your body and learning to let insults slide like water off a ducks back.
Learning to get back up when you fall.
Learning to accept support from your loved ones.
Learning that you are not alone.
Learning that you need God and not the comfort of the darkness.
Learning that life is not the real deal, and we are all homeward bound to heaven or hell, our choice.
Learning the hard way that life is so beautiful, but so painful at the same time. We are never really home on this earth. We keep pushing forward, reaching out, to what? To thin air. But I don't want to reach for thin air. I want to grasp that place I want to finally call home.
This is not me arriving to a point where I will give up the things of this world. This is me in the darkness, realizing there is so much more. This is me looking into the light, afraid of what it can and will expose and tell me to let go of.
I want to share this with you. If you ever fall down or in a rut, go back to the purest place in your heart, breathe, and start over again.
There is one path that is always open but is very narrow. This is the path that I am scared to take.
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